Dates and Debates

2:30
Congratulations.
SH

2:30
On what?
GL

2:31
You and Molly
SH

2:31
What are you talking about?
GL

2:32
Didn't you take her out for coffee yesterday evening?
SH

2:32
I don't even want know how you know that.
GL

2:32
Simple - she told me.
SH

2:33
Oh. I thought you might've deduced it from her perfume or something
GL

2:33
What relevance does her perfume have?
SH

2:34
I don't know, you're the genius.
GL

2:34
I am indeed. But you brought it up.
SH

2:34
It was a joke! Sarcasm
GL

2:35
Ah - Not very amusing.
SH

2:35
Why are you interested in who I take to coffee anyway?
GL

2:35
I'm not.
SH

2:36
So why bring it up?
GL

2:37
My brother however is.
SH

2:37
What?
GL

2:38
Don't play the fool Lestrade. I know all about you two.
SH

2:38
And what do you "know" about us?
GL

2:39
That you've been dancing around a romantic relationship for three months and when your wife finally announces that she's leaving you for the librarian you will make it an official arrangement.
SH

2:40
I thought you told me she was sleeping with the PE teacher?
GL

2:40
She was at the time. She's moved on to someone with a more stable income though. And you're avoiding the subject
SH

2:41
Well it's not really your business anyway.
GL

2:41
Sounds like that was a confirmation
SH

2:42
It was not!
GL

2:42
So it was a denial then? Careful Lestrade, I'm sure my brother has your phone bugged.
SH

2:43
Would you just leave off?
GL

2:44
No. I can hardly allow you to lead poor Molly on.
SH

2:44
When did you become a knight in shinning armor?
GL

2:45
I'm always happy to help a damsel in distress.
SH

2:45
I hope you're being sarcastic, because otherwise you're delusional and I won't have a delusional sociopath helping on my cases.
GL

2:46
Sarcasm. And that's an empty threat. Even if I was delusional I'd still be more adept at solving crimes than you lot.
SH

2:46
Oi! We got on just fine before you came along, thank you very much
GL

2:47
Just fine? I seem to recall that over half of your cases turned cold before I was consulted. And you're still avoiding the subject.
SH

2:47
There is no subject!
GL

2:47
Yes there is. Why were you on a date with Molly?
SH

2:48
It was not a date! It was her birthday so I was doing something nice for her.
GL

2:48
Of course. Forgot about that. I'll have John send her some flowers or something.
SH

2:48
You're sending her flowers?
GL

2:49
Don't sound so surprised. John has taught me some decorum. I took you to dinner remember?
SH

2:49
I remember you inviting me to dinner so you could use my official status to intimidate a new busboy there into giving you information on a case.
GL

2:50
True. But you still got a free meal from it.
SH

2:50
Why are you so interested in her love life anyway?
GL

2:51
I'm not. I just need some assistance from her that would be impeded if you two were romantically involved.
SH

2:52
What sort of assistance?
GL

2:52
For a case. She needs to date.
SH

2:53
You're putting her undercover or something?
GL

2:53
No. Just giving her a nudge in the right direction.
SH

2:54
So you're setting her up?
GL

2:55
Yes.
SH

2:55
With who? Why?
GL

2:55
An accountant we're investigating. We need someone who can get into his flat.
SH

2:56
You can't do that to her!
GL

2:56
Why not? Their personalities are compatible.
SH

2:57
But she could get hurt!
GL

2:57
She dated the most notorious criminal mastermind in recent history. She'll be fine.
SH

2:58
Well there's obviously no point in arguing with you.
GL

2:58
None at all. And if it helps you feel better John will be watching out for her and so will Mycroft.
SH

2:59
You're working with him on this?
GL

2:59
Not voluntarily. John insisted that if we're doing this to Molly then she needs protection and he contacted Mycroft about it.
SH

3:00
Good for him. And what have you got against your brother anyway?
GL

3:01
Everything. But no need to worry, I won't interfere with your relationship.
SH

3:02
Really? 'Cause when you first started this conversation it seemed like you were defending his honor or something, making sure I wasn't two timing him.
GL

3:03
Well, obviously I wasn't. And thank you.
SH

3:03
For what?
GL

3:04
Confirming my suspicions.
SH

3:04
What? I didn't confirm anything!
GL

3:05
Yes you did. But no need to worry; John and I will keep it quiet.
SH

3:05
Good. Because I will quiet you if you don't.
GL

3:06
From denial to threats?
SH

3:06
Well no use in arguing with you anymore, so just rescuing the last bit of my dignity.
GL

3:07
Right, then. Oh - John says "Congratulations" as well.
SH

3:08
You told him already?
GL

3:08
No. He's been reading the texts over my shoulder.
SH

3:09
You two are impossible.
GL

3:10
We'll take that as a compliment.
SH