Queer Eye For The (Mostly) Straight Guy Chapter 3

Castiel wants to bury his face in his hands. Or knock his friend's heads together. They should at least be more respectful of Dean and his home, since he wasn't the one who invited them into it.

Instead they seem to be taking a perverse delight in creating more chaos than usual.

He's already had words with Balthazar about breaking a few pieces of Dean's impressive collection of shot glasses. "But look at all these, Cassie it's ridiculous, really. He could be opening a bar, for Christ's sake"


Castiel reminding him that he's there to help Dean learn how to cook, not to comment on his hobbies.

Balthazar muttered something about that fact that slowly destroying your liver isn't a hobby but relented and went back to rummaging through the pantry.


Of course that's the moment when he heard Dean and Gabriel having a heated discussion and had to intervene.

Gabriel has taken a shine to Dean and that means he's going to be even more bothersome and childish than usual.


Once Gabriel leaves he expects anger from Dean. Demands to leave the house, or threats to call the police. Something befitting his obvious anger at the situation.

But Dean pleasantly surprises him by accepting his fate and asking Castiel to introduce him to everyone.


Even more surprising is what he calls him. "Cas?" he questions, in mild confusion before he can stop himself. No one has ever called him that before.


Dean seems vaguely embarrassed at his slip-up and says "Oh - uh, sorry, man. Just thought, you know - Castiel - Cas..." by way of an explanation and apology.


Castiel simply shrugs and assures him "I do not mind. I've simply never been called that before."


Now it's Dean's turn to be surprised and his eyebrow lift, making him look strangely young.

"Really? What the hell do people call you then? I mean Castiel is nice and all, but you've gotta have nicknames."


Castiel smiles slightly and answers "My family has always called me by my given name. My friends call me Cassie."


Dean lets out a chuckle and says "Oh man, I'm sorry for you. Though I guess you're pretty enough for it."


Castiel smiles to hide his surprise. That statement sounded rather flirtatious, but Dean is wearing a casual grin, so perhaps he simply meant it in friendly jest.

"Thank you, Dean" Castiel responds sincerely, before gesturing to the kitchen and suggesting "Shall we start?"



                             * * * *

Dean is cursing himself silently as he follows Cas to the kitchen. He can't believe those words came out of his mouth. I mean sure, the guy's pretty good looking and those eyes -

Dean stops his thought there. At least Cas was cool about it.

Cas seemed pretty chill about everything actually and Dean finds that he's thankful for his serenity. He's gonna need it over the next several hours.

They enter the kitchen to find the blonde guy, Balthazar, he recalls, holding up a container of leftover Chinese he'd had on Tuesday.


No, wait - he'd had pizza on Tuesday. Maybe last Sunday? He's really not sure.


"Do you actually consume this stuff?" Balthazar asks, his nose wrinkled in a dramatic display of revulsion.


"What's wrong with my food?" Dean demands, not liking this guy at all.


"Well for starters - it's not food anymore. It's Darwinism." Balthazar snarks, before tossing the container into the nearby trashcan.


"Hey that was still good!" Dean growls.


Balthazar gives him a look of exaggerated pity. "No, love - it wasn't. And that's why I'm here."


"Don't call me 'love' you ass-" Dean starts, but Cas lays a soft hand on his arm and says "Perhaps we should go meet the others now."


Cas' touch alone is slightly calming and he decides that he's going to have enough problems without looking for trouble so he concedes.

Dean shoots one last venomous glare at Balthazar who responds with a grin, before following Cas out, towards his room.


His blood is boiling again. These guys may be experts but that doesn't mean he wants them telling him how to run his life.

If he wants to eat junk and dress like the grease-monkey he is, whose business is it to make him live any differently?


"He doesn't mean any offense, really." Castiel is speaking and Dean breaks away from his angry thoughts to listen.


"Oh yeah? Because he did a damn good impression of it." Dean grumbles in response and Cas tilts his head in agreement.


"I understand that my friends can seem...difficult at times. But they mean well, and it's simply part of the job." Castiel finishes and Dean rolls his eyes.


He doesn't care what sort of explanations Cas wants to offer, he still doesn't like any of these damn guys.


"Really, Dean." Castiel insists "Once you get to know them they are quite pleasant."


His timing is impeccable because at this moment a loud crash is heard from the bedroom followed by a chorus of "Oh, shit - shit!" followed by laughter and "YOU BROKE HIS CLOSET!"