Queer Eye For The (Mostly) Straight Guy Chp 4

Castiel has always thought that God must have an ironic and slightly perverse sense of humor and he’s taking this day as proof of it. He curls his left fingers in an effort to stem his irritation as his friend’s revelry and quickly follows Dean, who has bolted towards his bedroom with such speed that Castiel thinks his legs must’ve grown several inches.

They arrive to find Gabriel and Samandriel on a pile of clothes, rolling about in laughter. Castiel is quite sure tears of glee are streaking down Gabriel’s face.

Dean’s face is dark and he looks as though he’s about to snap, not that Castiel can blame him. He’s well accustomed to his friends antics, yet he finds even his patience is being tested. So he steps in front of Dean and inquires in a voice that’s as calm and authoritative as he can manage “What’s going on in here?

Gabriel and Samandriel manage to reign in their giggles enough to sit up and attempt to piece together an explanation “Luci was pulling out clothes or something-” “I don’t know what he was doing but suddenly there’s this snap and-” “More of a crack, actually and-”

Lucifer emerges from the walk-in closet at this moment holding a long wooden pole and objecting “I didn’t break anything! This-” he twirled the rod “Came off its holding place and these two had to go make a ruckus out of it!”

Castiel takes the rod from Lucifer, who’s refusing to look contrite, and instead is rummaging through clothes on the floor, muttering in distaste at the amount of denim and flannel.

“Did you see how fast Deano came running, though?!” Gabriel cackled. “Worried his closet was in danger!”

“Well he probably spends a lot of time in here.” Lucifer comments, trying to keep his voice casual, though he can’t manage to hide the smirk in it.

Castiel can feel Dean squaring his shoulders and setting his jaw in preparation to rage at them, so he turns quickly and guides Dean from the room with a gentle touch to his arm. To his pleasant surprise Dean follows willing. A fist fight would solve nothing, though he wouldn’t mind seeing some of that caged up ferocity in action.

Shocked at the paths of his thoughts, he focuses his attention away and offers a weak reassurance to Dean “Gabriel is like that with everyone. I’ve known him to flirt shamelessly with a priest in the presence of his wife of ten years.”

Dean grumbles a profanity under his breath but some of the tension seems to leave his shoulders. Castiel takes this as a good sign and continues “Samandriel is really just a large child. And Lucifer, well - he and Gabriel encourage each other. They mean no harm.”

Dean nods sharply, though if it’s born of true understanding or if it’s simply an effort to silence him, Castiel can’t be sure. He’s saved from deciding by Balthazar's sudden appearance. “What in hell’s name was all the shouting about?”


                                 * * * * * *

While Cas explains the noise Dean exhales in short breaths to calm himself. Assholes, every last one of them.

Except for Cas, his mind amends. He tries to shake away the smile he feels at the simple thought of his name. These guys have gotta be driving him insane. That’s the only explanation. There’s no way he can be this fond of someone in just a few hours of meeting them.

Balthazar is shaking his head in mingled exasperation and amusement at his friends’ antics and Cas suggests “Perhaps we should begin with the shopping as quickly as possible?”

For a ridiculous moment Dean feels like he could kiss Cas for suggesting it. He knows these guys can’t harass him as much in public, and he’ll at least have more space between them. At this moment his apartment feels strangely small, almost suffocating.

Balthazar nods in agreement and shouts “Boys! In here now!”

To Dean their steps sound like a herd of elephants trampling through the house and he forces himself to sit down on the couch so he doesn’t tackle something. Anything.

Cas calmly sits beside him, closer than what’s really appropriate for acquaintances, but he finds he really doesn’t mind. There’s surprising warmth radiating from him and Dean suddenly notices that he’s got a fresh, earthy scent to him that’s really nice. Like the breezes that sometimes blow through on a summer afternoon when he’s sipping a beer after finishing up under the hood of a car.

Dean shakes the thoughts away as Lucifer begins to speak “Okay boys, here’s what we’re gonna do. Me and Balthazar are gonna take Dean here out for a spin, while you guys tidy up and later you-” he pointed to Gabriel “ can meet up and grab Dean for decor shopping. Sound good?”

Everyone’s nodding in agreement, until Dean notices the absence of a name in the plans and he finds himself objecting “Hang on a sec - Cas isn’t coming with me?”

He hadn’t even thought before speaking, the words just leapt out of his mouth on their own. Dammit.

Everyone is looking at them now and Dean can sense their barely hidden smirks at his outburst. Castiel doesn’t seem to notice simply shrugs beside him saying “There is no reason for me to accompany you. I have nothing to purchase with you and am therefore of more use here.”

Dean nods in agreement and says “Of course” as casually as he can manage, trying to dismiss his earlier objection. The guy is just doing his job and if that means he hangs around Dean’s place instead of Dean himself, then whatever. That’s what he’s gotta do. It’s not like they’re even friends or anything. Moron he grumbles at himself.

Balthazar seems to have different plans though and he says “Actually Cassie, maybe you should tag along. Dean seems to like you best...”

Dean opens his mouth to object because he does not like the tone of this blond dick. His words may seem innocent enough, but Dean can take a hint. All these guys seem to think he’s got something to hide and it’s grating at his nerves.

Sure, he likes Cas the best of these guys, but that’s just because he’s not an asshat. Nothing more. And yeah, he’s got nice eyes, and an awesome voice, but that’s something anyone can appreciate.

Balthazar seems to realize he’s struck a nerve and he raises his hands in a contrite gesture, amending “Not that I blame you. Cassie is certainly the most likable of us. Like an angel in a trench coat.”

Dean had noticed the odd tan jacket that Cas was wearing, but he hadn’t thought to question it. He assumed it was some weird trendy thing that was meant to seem quirky or something.

Cas smiles at Balthazar’s words and corrects “Technically it’s an overcoat.” which sends a wave of laughter through the group, relieving the tension.

Even Dean finds himself chuckling at Cas’ sense of humor, barely discernible from his usual manner, save for the gleam in his eyes. It should bother Dean that he’s already noticing these sorts of things about Cas. He shouldn’t be paying this much attention to a guy he barely knows.

“Right - let’s go - let’s go - time to get to work!” Lucifer sing-songs and Balthazar bounds towards the door.

Something suddenly hits Dean and he mutters under his breath “Dammit”

Castiel, who is still seated beside him hears and asks “Is everything alright, Dean?”

Dean stands and digs his phone out of his pocket and says “Not really - I was supposed to be a work twenty minutes ago - let me call ‘em and let ‘em know what’s going on.”

He doesn’t wait for an agreement and quickly strides from the room, dialing as he goes. It rings twice before he hears “Singer Auto - this is Jo Harvelle speaking. How can I help ya?”

“Hey, Jo - It’s me - listen - I’m sorry but I can’t come in today. I’ve got-” Dean starts but is interrupted by her laughter.

“What’s so amusing, blondie?” he demands and Jo’s exasperation at the nickname is enough to sober her laughter so she can speak.

“Don’t call me that, jerk.” she retorts before continuing “And I know you can’t come in today. Spending some time with the boys aren’t you?”

“You knew about this?!” Dean growls. Of course she knows. Sam would’ve thought of everything, including setting him up for time off. And Jo never said a word.

“Yeah! Sammy told me he was sending five guys to your place - kinky, Dean.” Jo answers with a laugh.

“Shut it, Harvelle.” He snaps back and it comes out harsher than intended. Jo always teases him about this sort of thing and he usually just responds with a joke of his own. But his nerves are already worn thin from the comments he’s been getting all morning.

Jo seems to realize she stepped over a line and says “Okay - okay. I was just kidding.” then tactfully changing the subject she added “Can you pull a shift on Wednesday afternoon? Ash is gonna be out and we could use an extra hand.”

“Sure. I could use the cash” Dean agrees.

“Yep. You’ll have to maintain your fancy new wardrobe.” Jo says and Dean rolls his eyes.

“Bye, Harvelle” he says, and then hangs up without waiting for her goodbye. He knows he’ll hear about it later, but at the moment he’s got bigger problems.

He strides back into the living room and says “Okay. Let’s get this thing over with.”

Cas gives him a sympathetic smile while Balthazar snarks “Your enthusiasm is overwhelming, Dean. Please try to control yourself.”